Like death, a family break-up comes with feelings of loss and grief. If children are involved, the situation is worse as children react differently. Adults may get used to the changes faster compared to the children. However, if both parents agree to share the responsibility of the child and participate in the decisions affecting the child, the situation becomes easier for the child. While it’s the wish of any parent to see their children living a good life, failing to handle the separation process for any family can have far-reaching consequences for the family members involved. Where parents cannot speak to one another during these hard times, it’s important to involve professionals who are used to the process. Read through this article to learn some basics about a family break-up and how to handle it.
Feelings associated with a family break-up.
People who have gone through this process have shown different signs. However, one thing is common in all breakups. It’s characterized by grief and unending sadness that may take some time to disappear for the family members involved. The most common feelings include shock and denial where one cannot come to terms with the loss. Family members who have gone through this process have termed this process as very confusing. Other feelings associated with family breakup are blame and anger. With these two feelings, you feel that you want to make someone responsible for the troubles you are going through. This could be you, your children and even your partner. You will only get peace of mind after a break-up once you accept what has happened.
Dealing with children
A family break-up is even worse if there are children in the equation. Children will cope with this process differently, and this could affect their lives forever as some fail to come up to terms with the breakup. It’s, therefore, important to let the children know what’s happening even though they have no say in the process. One message that you should put across when talking to the children is that you will always listen to them. Also, tell them that they are the greatest thing that ever happened to your marriage. Talking to them helps eliminate uncertainty and worries they may have. While going through all these things, put into consideration their level of understanding as well as their age.
A recent article on HBNewsNetwork revealed that children react differently to a family break-up. Some children become aggressive, clingy and naughty while others experience a change in sleeping patterns. For parents who are going through a family break-up, they should be aware of these symptoms that children have portrayed such as worry, guilt, confusion and shock.
Causes of family break-up
Many reasons are behind many family break-ups, but the most commons ones are domestic abuse that constitutes of physical and mental abuse, infidelity, humiliation before others and undesirable habits. Other reasons that have been known to cause a family break-up include drug and substance abuse, constant comparison with other families and irresponsibility of the bread winner which results to financial constraints. Despite all these reasons, the main reason why families break up is the selfishness that develops in the hearts of the partners. Other small factors can lead to a family break-up, and they include jealousy in the relationship, constant lying, and the desire for financial independence by one of the partners.
Like we have seen, family break-ups affect all the parties involved including friends, other family members such as parents and relatives. Before settling on the last option, disagreeing partners should exhaust all conflict resolutions available for the sake of their family and children. At times, some compromise is needed if a family is to survive the break-up storm.